Sometimes you can't believe the amount of effort it takes to get through to someone.

IT ISNT THAT YOU DIDINT CALL. IT ISNT THAT YOU TALK TO OTHER GIRLS. IT ISNT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ANY LESS.

It's because you do the same things over and over even when you know it hurts.

The concepts are there. Simple and easy. Yet for some reason you choose to ignore them and make it difficult.

Everytime we make up then break up, it's the same damn reason that starts it all.
You'd think you'd get it by now.

Is it really worth it? Putting us through all this crap because you dont wanna change that part of your attitude?
You'd rather leave me or hurt me rather than offer up a simple phone call.
I'm always so shocked when you actually call me back.
I know you usually don't but I still sweat it.

thats fucking pathetic.

I've heard every damn excuse. I choose which one's I believe. I have the luxury of picking out of a pile.

You just never get it.

It's about when you say youre gunna do something, anything,
and dont do it.
I feel like a machine on repeat because I know we've had this conversation, this one-sided arugment too many times.

Do you want me to be like you?
Is that what it takes?

The silly thing is, you probably scoff at this then get pissed off.
When really, if it were anybody else that asked you to call, you'd do it in heartbeat.
Maybe I need to be an old crush, a different friend, or live up north.
Maybe then I'd be important enough.

Nice to know where I stand.
Im here at your convienence, I get it.

I'm also really stupid.

i feel like shit.
i probably look like shit.
i havent slept since he left me.
my head is spinning all the time.
my cheeks are soft from the moisture.
my eyes are swollen like marshmallows.
my stomach pains because i only eat to give myself the "itis" to try and fall asleep.
it just makes me more sick.
my hands itch and shake.
and my mouth is dry like hazy summers.

not to mention, i cant focus on anything without it bringing back something that i dont want to remember.

i've got everyone convinced, you know?

twitch twitch twitch blurrrrr twitch twitch.

whats the diagnosis? can ya commit me?

hes right you know.

im fucking physco.

You don't put your hand on my lap when we sit next to eachother.
When asked what you loved most about me, you gave the most generic answer there was.
You dont sing to make me feel better anymore.
You ignore the fact that something could be wrong.
You dont call me from work anymore.
You think I ask stupid questions.
Sometimes you forget to kiss me.
Other times, I forget to kiss you.
Most times, I feel disconnected.

But I'll still love you, all the time.